The Quarantine [Part 1]: How My Social Life Changed

Starting a new series regarding this whole quarantine and how my life has been affected by it.  I'm going to have this series written in four parts: social life, body+mind, hobbies, and the future.

It's been four months since I left Bandung.  Life's great.  I mean, I do miss my college and the cold morning air of Tanah Pasundan, but it's not like I have the urgency to return to Bandung asap.  The quarantine definitely had a huge impact on my social life.

My college friends used to tease me about how I 'disappear' whenever it comes to semester break.  They still do it until now, though.  I can't help but agree.  I am not an extrovert, and I don't really crave connecting with people on a daily basis (unless there's something important to talk/jobs to do).  I am really bad at preserving connection such as sending messages, calling, or checking someone out on their social media.  I think the sole reason for it is because I heavily depend on the 'mood'.  I want to connect with people only if I have the mood to socialize.  And most of the time, I'm not really in the mood.

An impromptu picture that was taken after I finished an afternoon class

Back then, I used to be so jealous of seeing pictures of my friends hanging out or showing off their video call/phone call screenshots. I thought to myself "Why can't I be like them?  Why does it feels that I have no friends?"  Nowadays, I realized that being jealous is a waste of time.  I can't be like them because I'm not destined to be one.

Just like in my previous post (which is written in Bahasa Indonesia), I live like a rock.  I hang out with a lot of people only when I am on campus just because there's a mutual need and because we see each other physically.  When we're physically apart like this, then I don't really have a communication with them.

Some people might think that I'm rude for not maintaining communication, but I really don't have any intention of cutting off a friendship.  It's just... my way of living.  I have to be in the mood to socialize.  That includes a simple thing such as texting.

My way of thinking might be weird for some people, but I say what I say: If someone really is a friend with me, they will understand my way of interaction and we will still be friends at the end of the day.  I am super grateful that my best friends are those who understand this, thus I have no problem talking/chatting with them though it might be years since we last communicated.

I rarely go outside since the quarantine started.  Do I miss going out exploring new places?  Yes.  Do I miss hanging out with my friends?  Not really.  Do I enjoy being stuck inside my house all day?  Yes.

Social life during quarantine is... hard to describe.  A simple thing as replying to messages can feel so hard to do.  Having to hold a meeting when I'm not in the mood to is extremely burdensome!  I never promised to anyone to make a call or something because I usually ended up not having the 'mood' to talk.  A surprise call is something I'd prefer because being taken aback forces me to enjoy the situation no matter what happens. Yesterday my guy friend suddenly called me and we talked for almost two hours.  It was a great call, we talked about what we've been through and mostly about college tuff since both of us are in the same committee. 

How's your social life going on?  I do think mine's a bit different from other people because I have my dog Hammond at home, and I generally get along very well with my parents and my sister, thus making my house a real home, a real sanctuary.  That's why I really don't have the urge to socialize with other people at the moment.

I just recently watched an inspiring Tedtalk regarding this topic:

The quarantine gives me time to know myself better, and I am comfortable in my own skin, thus I am comfortable being alone with myself.  Here are some great quotes from the TedX video that I have personally written down.

Loneliness isn't just about connecting with people in your life, it's also about connecting with yourself.

To feel less lonely, we don't need to connect with others and be left alone, we need to connect with ourselves and practice getting comfortable when we're alone.

You don't get to escape yourself. You're gonna need to be comfortable in your own skin, you're gonna need to keep yourself company at some point.

The reason of why I love sudden calls and abrupt meeting instead of the one with a predetermined schedule?  Here:

There's no curation of who's gonna come and there's no predetermined topic so you kind of have to wait and see what happens.  This makes it really hard to 'edit' yourself.  Whatever comes out is unrehearsed and it's unplanned; in a sense, you don't really feel like you're putting on a show. 

With all the conditions that make me unable to return to Bandung (the virus, the unavailable train ticket, the transportation fee, the online learning system, etc), I do believe that these are all under God's control.  Yes, God is also in control of my social life: the people I am able to meet; the situation; the event; the timing.

Hoping everyone who read this the ability and the opportunity to know themselves better.  Cheers.