The Joy From the Heaven.

 

It's been four months since my last post.  I have to admit that things went out of control after I graduate.  Doing multiple internships and teaching Mandarin as a side-job has got me overwhelmed.  I should be grateful that it didn't took me too long to actually start earning money independently.  I also have a working routine and in some ways it's been helping me to keep on being productive.

Being an adult is damn hard.  I now know why people actually choose to be a freelancer because being tied to something you don't love isn't fun at all.  But some people chose to stay because that's where they earn money to live.  I relate to it on a personal level.  Some sacrifices are needed so that our very own life goes on.

Other than work though, I'm grateful that I can spend Christmas with my family.  Yup, apparently I'm still keeping my 'Christmas-with-family' streak game strong.  I'm guessing next year I might won't be able to do it, though.  Just my hunch.

Anyway..... yup.  I finally got the time to log into my BlogSpot account and write this quick post, giving a little life update.

I'm just dropping by to say that my life isn't really what I'd like it to be.  It's not really my ideal depiction of adulting because I'm working in a field that I don't really like.  I'm still trying to do my best in it though I'm lacking a lot.  I mean... though I'm getting paid in SGD, I have to admit that I don't really have the passion and interest in this field.  So I'm going to do my best until the time I'm ready to let it go and actually focus on my education.

Also, I realized how uncomfortable it is to work as an unpaid intern.  I mean, nothing is wrong with that, but I think unpaid internship should be done by someone that truly seeks the experience and the knowledge.  Personally, I think students who are still in college are best fitted for this type of internship.  Unpaid internship really sucks if you're a fresh graduate that has your eyes on earning money already.  Experience doesn't pay the rent, honey.

I'm also kind of sad that since I'm  busy working, I don't feel like I actually have the time to enjoy myself.  It's been months since my last time keeping up with my fangirling activities and I don't actually have the time to read books or play games.  Now, every time I know that I have a little bit of free time, I prefer to sleep to recharge my energy.  I don't even workout again and this is so sad :(  Well, I'm planning on creating a new morning routine and I hope I can put some workout into it!

My new year resolution are doing good so far.  If you're reading this and you're curious, here are my detailed resolutions:

1. Showering without my phone inside the bathroom
2. Drink one big bottle of plain water (1/1.4 L) everyday
3. No phone on 22:00 onwards, charge the phone outside my bedroom
4. Do my night skincare routine everyday

These sounds simple, eh?  I do have to admit that I'm too attached to my phone and I aim to reduce my screen time this year.  Also, I want to be healthy by consuming more water.  And I've been religiously doing my skincare routine I actually feeling the results!  I feel that my skin has gotten way more soft and plump.  I don't know whether this is real or just a placebo effect, but either way I'm not stopping this, lol.

Also, I just wanted to point out that I'm grateful for everything happened to me for the past 2021.  I experienced a lot of problems during the last one year, and I feel so small.  I lost my confidence.  I have to leave a lot of things in Bandung because I'm moving back to my parent's house.  It was hard.  But I'm grateful.  God has helped me through all of these things.

Dear the future me, in case I'm reading this in the future, the 'past' me wanted to tell you this thing: God is good.  God has always been good and He will always be.

Even right at this moment where I'm actually dealing with a lot of things I dislike from my work, I will always find no reason to blame God and the situation.  God has gave me the chance to work in these places, and if He does so, it's because He believes in me.  I am capable.

I do feel like venting out my frustration because I lost a big portion of my 'me-time' and I still get contacted by people from work even on Saturday and Sunday.  Yup, I'm currently not experiencing the so called 'work-life-balance'.  But deep down inside of me, my spirit and my soul couldn't help but to shout to the Lord, praising Him and thanking Him that I made it until today.

These tribulations are not an easy thing to defeat.  But God allowed this to happen, and there's no growth without a storm.  I'm hoping that all of these things I'm experiencing will bring me to be more like Him and to depend more on God.  Let it be that through all the problems I'm experiencing, His name will be glorified more and more.  More of Him, less of me!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!